bush - the new axis of evil

> "In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y.
> Times, 1/30/02
>
> ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
> Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own
> Clubs
>
> Beijing. Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil,"
> Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just
> as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid
> Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union
> address.
>
> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as
> having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...
> in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody
> knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."
>
> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although
> they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
>
> "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
>
> "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President
> Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
> had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have
three.
> And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."
>
>
> THE AXIS PANDEMIC
> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
> within minutes, France surrendered.
>
> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in
what
> became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they
had
> formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and
> Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and
> Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
> Disagreeable.
>
> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up,
> Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
> Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the
> Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That
Are
> Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while
> Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
> Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
>
> "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish
> Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
>
> While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making
> fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he
> rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in
> "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.
> Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
>
> Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately,
> world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
>
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