Guest
Deleted User
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Rodney went to the zoo one day. While he was
standing in front of the gorilla's enclosure,
he noticed the gorilla watching him intently.
Rodney waved at the gorilla, the gorilla waved
back. He patted his stomach and the gorilla
copied him. He jumped up and down, the gorilla
started jumping. He made faces, pull his hair,
hopped on one foot, spun in a circle, and beat
on his chest. His antics were copied exactly
by the gorilla in the cage.
All of a sudden the wind gusted and he got some
grit in his eye. Rodney rubbed his eye, trying
to make it better. While doing so he, he stepped
closer and closer to the cage. As he pulled his
eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla
went crazy, banged against the bars, reached out,
grabbed the nearly blinded man and beat Rodney
senseless. When he came to, the zoo keeper was
anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was
able to talk, he told the keeper what had happened.
The zoo keeper nodded and explained, "In gorilla
language, pulling down your eyelid means 'screw
you'".
The explanation didn't make the gorilla's victim
feel any better but he accepted it. As he left,
Rodney became madder and madder. He plotted his
revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives,
two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage.
Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to
the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, into which
he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.
Knowing that the big ape liked to mimic people,
Rodney put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at
him, and looked at the hat, and put it on. Next he
picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked
up his horn and did the same. He twirled in a circle
blowing the horn. The gorilla did the same. Then
Rodney picked up his knife and waved it over his
head. Again the gorilla copied it. Next he whipped
the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it neatly
in two. The gorilla looked at the knife in his big
hairy hand, looked at his own crotch, and pulled down
his eyelid.
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Guest
Deleted User
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A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park
when her dog was mounted from behind by a large
Rottweiler. The Rottweiler was really humping away and
the lady was frantically trying to break them up, but to
no avail.
A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the
Rottweiler's butt, and the action immediately stopped.
The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked.
The little boy explained, "That's my dog. He can dish it
out, but he can't take it!"
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Guest
Deleted User
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A guy applied to join a nudist club. "Exactly what
do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We
take off all our clothes and commune with nature."
"Cool," said the guy, "...count me in!!!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear
and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he
saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays."
A little further along he saw another sign which
read the same thing "Beware of Gays."
He continued walking until he came to a small
clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the
ground. He bent over to read the plaque and it
said, "Sorry,... You've already had two warnings!"
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wobbo
...
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ihr nehmt wieder mal keine rücksicht auf leute die zwischen 3 und 4 stehen in englisch 
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Guest
Deleted User
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nope. sskm.
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Murph
Nerd
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sskm?  Selber Schuld, kein Mitleid @dere/rettich/h4p3: => glossary?
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chep.mac
Banned by Moderators
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und "sskmvv" heisst selbst schuld kein mitleid voll vergunnt
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HaBa
LegendDr. Funkenstein
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ssdz söwa schuid der zöhn
ssdd söwa schuid der doim
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Mupf
user
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wat macht ne blondine wenn ihr kalt is ?? geht inne ecke, da is immer 90° 
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vEspertine
offline..
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>A guy walked into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a
>haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About 2 hours." The
>guy left.
>
>A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How
>long before I can get a haircut?" Again, the barber looked around at a shop
>full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left again.
>
>A week later the same guy came in the shop again and asked the same
>question. The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a
>half." Once again the guy left.
>
>This time the barber looked over at a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, I'll
>give
>you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little
>while, Bill came back into the shop laughing hysterically.
>
>The barber said, "This must be good. Where did he go when he left here?"
>
>"To your house."
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vEspertine
offline..
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They've broken into my car and stolen the dashboard, the
steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!"
cried the blonde to the 911 dispatcher.
"Stay calm, an officer is on the way." was the reply.
Before the police arrived at the crime scene, however, the
911 dispatcher's phone rang a second time; the same
blonde's voice giggled, "Never mind, I got in the back
seat by mistake."
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vEspertine
offline..
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If you think life is bad...
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes four minutes to get hard.
Only two minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys
But worst of all ... the only chick that ever sat on your face was
your mother!!!
So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!!!
Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay,
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vEspertine
offline..
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Hate your job?
When you have an "I hate my job" day try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
thermometer section.
You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Q-tip."
Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect
the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.
Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie
down on your bed.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on
the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Take out the written material that accompanies the thermometer and
read it.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
"Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,
"I am so glad I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip Company."
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vEspertine
offline..
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on request gibts 1000e weitere.. und 100e pics..
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Anmeldung