tuesday morning round of jokes

Guest

Deleted User

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17.07.2003 - 12:00

meine quelle geb ich natürlich nicht mehr preis

(suchfunktion hilft, ich habs schon mal gesagt)

OJ:

Two men are sitting on the train together. One says to the other, "You
know, except for the moustache, you look exactly like my wife." The other
replies, "Excuse me! I don't have a moustache." The first says, "No. My
wife has the moustache."

Roman

CandyMan

Registered: Jun 2000
Location: Im schönen Kär..
Posts: 3842

17.07.2003 - 14:51

huahaha
boese

______

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison.
"Okay, dad, you get the toy."

_______

A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt.
The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled. The woman snaps at him,
"Well, I can see that you're no gentleman!"
The hillbilly says, "And I can see you ain't one, neither!"

_______

The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly shit faced. A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, turned his horse around, and went back to join the hapless for a few more rounds.
The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowhand's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the goddamn trail, you've got work to do."
"Can't," mumbled Tex. "Too beat. Too tired. Can't even lift my head."
"Get the hell up!" she screamed in his ear. "I've seen you this hungover a thousand times."
"Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"

Guest

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17.07.2003 - 15:09

Zitat von Roman
"Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"

muhaaahaha!

Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it
rains, however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is,
except for Sophie's. The other two women wonder why Sophie never has
her laundry out on the days that it rains.
So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on
the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it
rains, your laundry is never out?"
"Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at my husband Paul.
If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a
great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over
his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash."
"What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women.
"Honey," says Sophie, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry."

Guest

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17.07.2003 - 15:19

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next
to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then
casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch
and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's
so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then
because I am wearing panties!"

The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	17.07.2003 - 12:00 meine quelle geb ich natürlich nicht mehr preis (suchfunktion hilft, ich habs schon mal gesagt) OJ: Two men are sitting on the train together. One says to the other, "You know, except for the moustache, you look exactly like my wife." The other replies, "Excuse me! I don't have a moustache." The first says, "No. My wife has the moustache."
Roman CandyMan Registered: Jun 2000 Location: Im schönen Kär.. Posts: 3842	17.07.2003 - 14:51 huahaha boese ______ The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get the toy." _______ A pretty woman, carrying a stack of boxes from a shopping spree, was walking down the street when all of a sudden a strong wind lifts her skirt. The hillbilly standing nearby just looked and smiled. The woman snaps at him, "Well, I can see that you're no gentleman!" The hillbilly says, "And I can see you ain't one, neither!" _______ The cowhand got paid on Friday and immediately rode into town and proceeded to get thoroughly shit faced. A couple of pals decided to play a trick on him. They snuck out, turned his horse around, and went back to join the hapless for a few more rounds. The next morning, when the alarm clock and a glass of cold water in the face failed to have the slightest effect, the cowhand's wife started shaking him by the shoulders and screaming, "Tex, get up! You have to hit the goddamn trail, you've got work to do." "Can't," mumbled Tex. "Too beat. Too tired. Can't even lift my head." "Get the hell up!" she screamed in his ear. "I've seen you this hungover a thousand times." "Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!"
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	17.07.2003 - 15:09 Zitat von Roman "Last night was different," said the wretched fellow. "Some son of a bitch cut my horse's head off, and I had to pull him all the way home with my finger in his windpipe!" muhaaahaha! Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains, however, the laundry always gets wet. All the laundry, that is, except for Sophie's. The other two women wonder why Sophie never has her laundry out on the days that it rains. So one day, they are all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women says to Sophie, "Say, how come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," says Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at my husband Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's going to be a great day, and I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if he has an erection?" asks one of the women. "Honey," says Sophie, "on a day like that, you don't do the laundry."
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	17.07.2003 - 15:19 A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

tuesday morning round of jokes

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