tuesday morning round of jokes

Guest

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15.07.2003 - 09:04

A Queensland (Australia) Radio Station, QFM, was running a competition
to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in
any English Dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence
that would make logical sense; the prize being a return trip for two to
Bali for a week.

The DJ, Sam, had many callers, the following two standing out:

DJ : QFM, what's your name?

Caller: Hi me name's Dave.

DJ: Dave , what is your word?

Caller: "Gaan" spelt G, A, A, N.

DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct
Dave, Gaan is certainly a word not found in the English
Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to
Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would
make logical sense?

Caller: Gaan screw yourself! Ha Ha Ha

At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is
no place for that sort of language on a family show.

After many more unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller:

DJ: QFM, what's your name?

Caller: Hi me name's Jeff.

DJ: Jeff , what is your word?

Caller: "Smee" spelt S, M, E, E.

DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct
Jeff, Smee is certainly a word not found in the English
Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to
Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would
make logical sense?

Caller: Smee again! Gaan screw yourself Ha Ha Ha!

Guest

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15.07.2003 - 09:05

Peter collects package at the Post Office.
At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and Peter
says, "It's my birthday today."
"Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office
worker.
"29," says Peter.
"Well, have a good day," says the worker.
"Thank you," replied Peter.
To get home, Peter has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady
walks up and waits soon after he arrives.
Peter says to the old lady, "It's my birthday today."
"Oh, happy birthday," says the old lady.
"I'm..." Peter starts to say
"No don't tell me," interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way
of telling how old somebody is."
"Oh yeah? What's that then," asks Peter.
"If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how
old you are." says the old lady.
"I don't believe it."
"Well let me prove it!"
"I'm not going to let you feel my balls!," says Peter.
"Oh well, I guess you'll never know then," replies the lady.
After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of Peter and he
says, "Oh, okay then, you can do it."
After a good feel of Peter's balls the woman finally takes her hands out
of his pants.
"You are 29 years old exactly," she exclaims!
"How the fuck did you know that?!," exclaims Peter, impressed.
"I was behind you in the line at the Post Office," said the lady.

Guest

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15.07.2003 - 09:12

The Seeing Eye Dog

Two men were walking their dogs around the local country club
and discussing their recent game of golf. The first man's dog was
a big German shepard, and the second man's dog was a chihuahua.
The first man says, "Let's go into the club and get a drink." The
second man says, "but we can't take our dogs into the club, and I don't wanna leave Froo-Froo outside." So the first man says, "Oh,
sure we
can take our dogs inside, just do as I do, and say what I say."

So, the first man walks into the club and asks the waiter for a place
to sit. The waiter says, "Sorry sir, but you can't have your dog in
here." The man looks around aimlessly and says, "Not even Seeing-eye
dogs?" The waiter immediatly apologizes and gives the man a seat.

The second man watched this whole scene and decided to go for it.
He walked in and asked the same waiter for a seat. The waiter says,
"I'm sorry sir, but you can't have your dog in here." The second man
said, "not even seeing-eye dogs?"

Then the waiter laughed and said, "you gotta be kidding, man, you're
telling me that that chihuahua is a seeing-eye dog?!"

The second man thought for a moment, then replied, "They sold me a
CHIHUAHUA?!?"

Ezekiel

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location: na
Posts: 3329

15.07.2003 - 09:35

den letzten check ich nicht :confused:

HowlingWolf

...

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: 2340
Posts: 1314

15.07.2003 - 09:40

man er gibt vor blind zu sein... daher weiß er auch net das sein blindenhund ein Chihuahua is...

Ezekiel

OC Addicted

Registered: Jun 2001
Location: na
Posts: 3329

15.07.2003 - 10:20

oh thx

hab nicht gewusst dass seeing-eye dog == blindenhund

Hokum

Techmarine

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Wien
Posts: 2574

15.07.2003 - 17:28

:cordless:

Prodigy

Big d00d

Registered: Jul 2003
Location: nznz
Posts: 182

15.07.2003 - 17:33

looooooooool der letzte joke waahrg

Roman

CandyMan

Registered: Jun 2000
Location: Im schönen Kär..
Posts: 3842

15.07.2003 - 17:37

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

der blindenhund witz ist :cordless: :wlan: und :anbrunz: zugleich!!!

Hiob

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Registered: May 2002
Location: 8010
Posts: 427

15.07.2003 - 17:37

den ersten kapier ich nich :confused:

der blindenhund-witz ist schon ganz lustig, aber imho ned der wahnsinn

Bearbeitet von Hiob am 15.07.2003, 17:39

.dcp

notamodbuthot

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: new
Posts: 8881

16.07.2003 - 15:11

SMEE verstehe ich, daher macht der witz auch sinn. aber was GAAN soll weis ich net.

SMEE == It´s me

BiG_WEaSeL

Super Moderator
-

Registered: Jun 2000
Location: Wien
Posts: 8240

16.07.2003 - 15:40

gaan = go and

BooTes

Octocat!

Registered: Sep 2002
Location: St. Egyden
Posts: 1595

16.07.2003 - 15:42

LOL, mehr davon

total_eclipse

Banned

Registered: Aug 2002
Location:
Posts: 1151

16.07.2003 - 22:35

muhaha mehr anruf-jokes plz

ich sag auch weiterhin gott zu dir rettich!

Ezekiel

OC Addicted

Registered: Jun 2001
Location: na
Posts: 3329

17.07.2003 - 11:55

rettich is *da* mastah of jokes

wo hast du die eigentlich alle her? irgendeine spezielle quelle oder alle selbst ausgedacht

?

Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	15.07.2003 - 09:04 A Queensland (Australia) Radio Station, QFM, was running a competition to find contestants who could come up with words that were not found in any English Dictionary yet could still use these words in a sentence that would make logical sense; the prize being a return trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, had many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : QFM, what's your name? Caller: Hi me name's Dave. DJ: Dave , what is your word? Caller: "Gaan" spelt G, A, A, N. DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Dave, Gaan is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense? Caller: Gaan screw yourself! Ha Ha Ha At this point the DJ cuts the caller short and announces that there is no place for that sort of language on a family show. After many more unsuccessful calls the DJ takes the following caller: DJ: QFM, what's your name? Caller: Hi me name's Jeff. DJ: Jeff , what is your word? Caller: "Smee" spelt S, M, E, E. DJ: We are just checking that (pause)... and you are correct Jeff, Smee is certainly a word not found in the English Dictionary. Now the next question, for a trip for two to Bali, is: What sentence can you use that in that would make logical sense? Caller: Smee again! Gaan screw yourself Ha Ha Ha!
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	15.07.2003 - 09:05 Peter collects package at the Post Office. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and Peter says, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?," asks the Post Office worker. "29," says Peter. "Well, have a good day," says the worker. "Thank you," replied Peter. To get home, Peter has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon after he arrives. Peter says to the old lady, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday," says the old lady. "I'm..." Peter starts to say "No don't tell me," interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is." "Oh yeah? What's that then," asks Peter. "If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how old you are." says the old lady. "I don't believe it." "Well let me prove it!" "I'm not going to let you feel my balls!," says Peter. "Oh well, I guess you'll never know then," replies the lady. After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of Peter and he says, "Oh, okay then, you can do it." After a good feel of Peter's balls the woman finally takes her hands out of his pants. "You are 29 years old exactly," she exclaims! "How the fuck did you know that?!," exclaims Peter, impressed. "I was behind you in the line at the Post Office," said the lady.
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	15.07.2003 - 09:12 The Seeing Eye Dog Two men were walking their dogs around the local country club and discussing their recent game of golf. The first man's dog was a big German shepard, and the second man's dog was a chihuahua. The first man says, "Let's go into the club and get a drink." The second man says, "but we can't take our dogs into the club, and I don't wanna leave Froo-Froo outside." So the first man says, "Oh, sure we can take our dogs inside, just do as I do, and say what I say." So, the first man walks into the club and asks the waiter for a place to sit. The waiter says, "Sorry sir, but you can't have your dog in here." The man looks around aimlessly and says, "Not even Seeing-eye dogs?" The waiter immediatly apologizes and gives the man a seat. The second man watched this whole scene and decided to go for it. He walked in and asked the same waiter for a seat. The waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, but you can't have your dog in here." The second man said, "not even seeing-eye dogs?" Then the waiter laughed and said, "you gotta be kidding, man, you're telling me that that chihuahua is a seeing-eye dog?!" The second man thought for a moment, then replied, "They sold me a CHIHUAHUA?!?"
Ezekiel OC Addicted Registered: Jun 2001 Location: na Posts: 3329	15.07.2003 - 09:35 den letzten check ich nicht
HowlingWolf ... Registered: Jul 2001 Location: 2340 Posts: 1314	15.07.2003 - 09:40 man er gibt vor blind zu sein... daher weiß er auch net das sein blindenhund ein Chihuahua is...
Ezekiel OC Addicted Registered: Jun 2001 Location: na Posts: 3329	15.07.2003 - 10:20 oh thx hab nicht gewusst dass seeing-eye dog == blindenhund
Hokum Techmarine Registered: Dec 2000 Location: Wien Posts: 2574	15.07.2003 - 17:28 :cordless:
Prodigy Big d00d Registered: Jul 2003 Location: nznz Posts: 182	15.07.2003 - 17:33 looooooooool der letzte joke waahrg
Roman CandyMan Registered: Jun 2000 Location: Im schönen Kär.. Posts: 3842	15.07.2003 - 17:37 ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! der blindenhund witz ist :cordless: :wlan: und :anbrunz: zugleich!!!
Hiob Addicted Registered: May 2002 Location: 8010 Posts: 427	15.07.2003 - 17:37 den ersten kapier ich nich der blindenhund-witz ist schon ganz lustig, aber imho ned der wahnsinn Bearbeitet von Hiob am 15.07.2003, 17:39
.dcp notamodbuthot Registered: Jul 2002 Location: new Posts: 8881	16.07.2003 - 15:11 SMEE verstehe ich, daher macht der witz auch sinn. aber was GAAN soll weis ich net. SMEE == It´s me
BiG_WEaSeL Super Moderator - Registered: Jun 2000 Location: Wien Posts: 8240	16.07.2003 - 15:40 gaan = go and
BooTes Octocat! Registered: Sep 2002 Location: St. Egyden Posts: 1595	16.07.2003 - 15:42 LOL, mehr davon
total_eclipse Banned Registered: Aug 2002 Location: Posts: 1151	16.07.2003 - 22:35 muhaha mehr anruf-jokes plz ich sag auch weiterhin gott zu dir rettich!
Ezekiel OC Addicted Registered: Jun 2001 Location: na Posts: 3329	17.07.2003 - 11:55 rettich is da mastah of jokes wo hast du die eigentlich alle her? irgendeine spezielle quelle oder alle selbst ausgedacht ?

tuesday morning round of jokes

Forum Index > Real Life > Offtopic

Guest

Guest

Guest

Ezekiel

HowlingWolf

Ezekiel

Hokum

Prodigy

Roman

Hiob

.dcp

BiG_WEaSeL

BooTes

total_eclipse

Ezekiel