truck driver & priest and lawyer

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03.07.2003 - 21:15

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he
would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would
see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him,
and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back
on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he
saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good deed, so
he pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, father?"

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the
priest.

"No problem, father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck
driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver spotted
a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit
him.

But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him,
so at the last minute he swerved back onto the road, narrowly
missing the lawyer. However, even though he was certain that he
missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his
mirrors, and, when he didn't see anything, he turned to the
priest and said, "I'm sorry, father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"

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03.07.2003 - 21:17

Sam and John were out cutting wood, when John accidentally cut
his arm off. Sam, who was trained in first aid, remained calm
and wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and then took it and John
to a surgeon.

The surgeon said, "You're in luck! I'm an expert at
reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours."

So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said, "I got
done faster than I expected. John is down at the local pub."

Sam went to the pub and was amazed to see John throwing darts.

"Wow" thought Sam, "that surgeon does excellent work"

A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John
accidentally cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag
and took it, and John, back to the same surgeon.

The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher, but I'll see
what I can do - come back in six hours."

Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished
early - John's down at the soccer field."

Sam went to the soccer field and there was John, kicking
goals. "Wow" thought Sam "That surgeon is amazing"

A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his
head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and
the rest of John to the surgeon.

The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in
twelve hours."

So Sam returned in twelve hours and the surgeon said, "I'm
sorry, John died."

Sam said, "I understand - I know you tried your best. You are
a very skilled surgeon but I'm sure heads are very tough."

The surgeon said, "Oh, no! It wasn't that, John suffocated in
that plastic bag!"

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03.07.2003 - 21:18

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam
fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he
was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so
they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the
dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers
aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.

When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked
his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

0wnt

Punisher

Bukanier

Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Disneyland
Posts: 1865

03.07.2003 - 21:18

hehe ... 0wnt

:edit:

damn priests

Bearbeitet von Punisher am 03.07.2003, 21:21

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03.07.2003 - 21:22

There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their
local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold
their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the
coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest igloo.

They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and
poured a cup of water into the air.

Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad",
said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still.
So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and
took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump
and fell to the floor.

"Wow, that's colder than mine!" said the first Eskimo.

But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at
the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom,
threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice
there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it.

When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".

Punisher

Bukanier

Registered: Sep 2002
Location: Disneyland
Posts: 1865

03.07.2003 - 21:27

Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ?

jAcKz

Legend
fool martyr

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: cross
Posts: 21376

03.07.2003 - 22:19

Zitat von TheOpterative
Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ?

Guest

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03.07.2003 - 22:22

Zitat von TheOpterative
Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ?

the fart - der furz. ist englisch, weisst

sub-zero

Ph33r my !c3c0ld b33r

Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Graz
Posts: 1759

03.07.2003 - 22:27

hahahahah

omfg das is geil

top rettich!!

Juggernout

Focus.

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Wien
Posts: 3639

04.07.2003 - 01:56

Zitat von rettich
A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he
would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would
see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him,
and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back
on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he
saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good deed, so
he pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, father?"

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the
priest.

"No problem, father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck."

The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck
driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver spotted
a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit
him.

But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him,
so at the last minute he swerved back onto the road, narrowly
missing the lawyer. However, even though he was certain that he
missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD."

Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his
mirrors, and, when he didn't see anything, he turned to the
priest and said, "I'm sorry, father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"

Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	03.07.2003 - 21:15 A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver spotted a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back onto the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However, even though he was certain that he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors, and, when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, father. I almost hit that lawyer." "That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	03.07.2003 - 21:17 Sam and John were out cutting wood, when John accidentally cut his arm off. Sam, who was trained in first aid, remained calm and wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and then took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said, "You're in luck! I'm an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours." So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected. John is down at the local pub." Sam went to the pub and was amazed to see John throwing darts. "Wow" thought Sam, "that surgeon does excellent work" A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John accidentally cut his leg off. Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it, and John, back to the same surgeon. The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher, but I'll see what I can do - come back in six hours." Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said, "I finished early - John's down at the soccer field." Sam went to the soccer field and there was John, kicking goals. "Wow" thought Sam "That surgeon is amazing" A few weeks later, John had a terrible accident and cut his head off. Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon. The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough. Come back in twelve hours." So Sam returned in twelve hours and the surgeon said, "I'm sorry, John died." Sam said, "I understand - I know you tried your best. You are a very skilled surgeon but I'm sure heads are very tough." The surgeon said, "Oh, no! It wasn't that, John suffocated in that plastic bag!"
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	03.07.2003 - 21:18 There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!" 0wnt
Punisher Bukanier Registered: Sep 2002 Location: Disneyland Posts: 1865	03.07.2003 - 21:18 hehe ... 0wnt :edit: damn priests Bearbeitet von Punisher am 03.07.2003, 21:21
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	03.07.2003 - 21:22 There were three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who indeed had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor solid. "Not bad", said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still. So they went to the second Eskimo's igloo, and he said "Watch this!" and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor. "Wow, that's colder than mine!" said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still. So they ended up at the third Eskimo's igloo. He said "Watch this!" and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it. When it heated up enough, it went "FFFAAAARRRRTTT".
Punisher Bukanier Registered: Sep 2002 Location: Disneyland Posts: 1865	03.07.2003 - 21:27 Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ?
jAcKz Legend fool martyr Registered: Dec 2000 Location: cross Posts: 21376	03.07.2003 - 22:19 Zitat von TheOpterative Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ?
Guest Deleted User Registered: n/a Location: Posts: n/a	03.07.2003 - 22:22 Zitat von TheOpterative Was bedeudet "FFFAAAARRRRTTT" ? the fart - der furz. ist englisch, weisst
sub-zero Ph33r my !c3c0ld b33r Registered: Dec 2000 Location: Graz Posts: 1759	03.07.2003 - 22:27 hahahahah omfg das is geil top rettich!!
Juggernout Focus. Registered: Jul 2002 Location: Wien Posts: 3639	04.07.2003 - 01:56 Zitat von rettich A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitch hiking. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver spotted a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back onto the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. However, even though he was certain that he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors, and, when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, father. I almost hit that lawyer." "That's okay," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"

truck driver & priest and lawyer

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