To the citizens of the United States of America...

Hey Leute !

Hab ich grad ausgegraben aus einem uralten Ordner auf meinem Rechner. Passt im Moment ganz gut:

[QUOTE]
To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves (punching holes and counting seems to be an ever
increasing difficult task), we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
Independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she
does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the
97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside
your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for
further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the
same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
"you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". Most of the world cannot
understand 1/2 of what you say anyway; and many don't believe the other
half. Why is it that the further south you go in the country, the slower
you'all talk. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English, Canadian and Australian
accents. It really isn't that hard.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
good guys and actually have Englishmen play Englishmen, Frenchmen play
French and Italians play Italians, and so forth.

5. You should re-learn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1 above. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through. Lord knows most of you don't even
know the second verse to your present anthem.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and you should play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does NOT involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar BODY ARMOUR like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005. You will also be forced to watch Australian Rules Rugby to see how
real men play sports.

7. The "World Series" should actually include various countries within the
real "World". We understand that you let Canada play and once they learned
the game and actually won it a few times before considering it too trivial
to persue again.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is
a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".

9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
national holiday, but only outside The Ununited States of America. It will
be called "Indecisive Day".

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Furthermore,
that family has had it's share of air-time. It was over 30 years ago. Let it
rest!!

Thank you for your co-operation.

The World

[/QUOTE]



PS: Um nicht so zu enden wie der Typ aus dem Telepolis Forum, möchte ich mich hiermit distanzieren, dass das mein Werk ist und es nur eine Satire ist, die mein Weltbild in keinster Weise darstellt.

PPS: Wer Zynismus findet, soll sich nicht wundern.

hehe w00t

Zitat von The Red Guy

Wenn du der englischen Sprache nicht mächtig bist, dann solltest du das posting einfach ignorieren und bei der Gelegenheit die Beteiligung an der englisch-vorraussetzenden Computerwelt einstellen.

schön gsagt..

hehe
genialer post - überhaupt punkt 6
naja wenn ma selber rugby spielt