"Christmas - the time to fix the computers of your loved ones" « Lord Wyrm

this butterfly is dead

linus 21.10.2003 - 15:05 426 1
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linus

Big d00d
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Registered: Jun 2003
Location: noWhere
Posts: 154
i search u...in the world
i built a church for u
make stop the flow
in the river of emotions
a picture of u
hangs alone on my wall
kills all the demons inside...of me
this butterfly is dead now
he dies in yr hands
and his wings wasn't full of pain

total_eclipse

Banned
Registered: Aug 2002
Location:
Posts: 1151
ich finde es zwar toll, wenn man gedichte schreibt und die postet, aber bitte, BITTE gewöhn dir eine korrekte schreibweise an! schliesslich sollte man ja eine sprache erst völlig beherrschen, bevor man mit ihr arbeitet!

i search u...in the world
in which world?
i built a church for u
make stop the flow
in the river of emotions
a picture of u
hangs alone on my wall
kills all the demons inside...of me
this butterfly is dead now
he dies in yr hands
in this case it would be 'died' because it's past
and his wings wasn't full of pain
I'd rather say 'weren't', wings are plural
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