the engineer

> Comprehending Engineers - Take One
> ****************************************
> Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
> "Where did you get such a great bike?"
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
> minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
> threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take
what
> you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice;
the
clothes
> probably wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
> **************************************
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
> half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Three
> ****************************************
> A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.
> The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
for
> 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never
seen such
> ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper.
Let's
have
> a word with him." "Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead
of us?
> They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greenskeeper replied, "Oh,
yes,
> that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our
> clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
> anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,
"That's so
> sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The
doctor
said,
> "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see
if
> there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why
can't these
> guys play at night?"
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
> ****************************************
> There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
> mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he
happily
> retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a
seemingly
> impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion-dollar
> machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine
to
> work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer
> who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
>
> The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying
> the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in
chalk on
a
> particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your
problem
> is".
>
> The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The
> company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
> They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer
> responded briefly:
>
> One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999
> It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Five
> ****************************************
> What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
> Engineers?
>
> Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Six
> ****************************************
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it
work?"
> The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it
cost?" The
> graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven
> ******************************************
> "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
> yet."
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight
> ************************************
> An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
> better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
> enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
> relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
of
> the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like
both."
>
> "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,
they will
> each
> assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
lab
> and get some work done."
>
>
>
> Comprehending Engineers - Take Nine
> ****************************************
> An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
> said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He
bent over,
> picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
> said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will
> stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket,
> smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If
you
> kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING
> you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put
it
> back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?
I've
> told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and
do
> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look I'm an
> engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now
that's
> cool."



Find ich genial!

Zitat von alexsb

....
> Comprehending Engineers-Take Four
> ****************************************
> There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
> mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he
happily
> retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a
seemingly
> impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion-dollar
> machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine
to
> work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer
> who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
>
> The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying
> the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in
chalk on
a
> particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your
problem
> is".
>
> The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The
> company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
> They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer
> responded briefly:
>
> One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999
> It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.
....

Ist wirklich passiert!

Die Witze sind genial Vor allem wenn ma in a HTL geht, merk ma schon, dass ma wirklich so zu denken beginnt