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king arthur and the witch

rettich 28.03.2003 - 14:26 586 3
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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned and was told by the monarch
who captured him that he'd be put to death. But the monarch was impressed
with Arthur's youthful happiness and offered Arthur a way to regain his
freedom. He'd have a year to have a question answered, and if he didn't
find an answer, he'd be put to death. The question was: "What do women
want?"

Such a question would challenge even the most knowledgeable man, and to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible task. But, he asked everyone. The
princesses. The prostitutes. The priests. Wise men. Even the court
jester. None could give him a satisfactory answer.

The year came to an end. Arthur had but one day, and he'd been holding off
asking one person, the Old Witch, because he knew her price would be high.
But, tomorrow would be the day he would be put to death, so he had no
choice.

She agreed to answer the question, but only if Arthur agreed to her price
first. She wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the
Round Table and Arthur's closest friend.

The witch was hunchbacked and awfully hideous. She had one tooth and
smelled like sewage water. She made horrible and obscene noises -- he'd
never come across a more repugnant creature. He just couldn't ask his
friend to bear such a burden as marrying the Old Witch.

But Gawain, upon learning that Arthur would be put to death, spoke with
Arthur and told him no price was to high to spare Arthur from death. So,
Arthur told the Old Witch that Gawain would marry her. She, in turn, gave
him the answer. "What women really want is to be able to be in charge of
her own life."

Everyone instantly knew that was indeed the correct answer, and the monarch
did indeed spare Arthur's life. But Arthur was now torn between relief and
anguish as he prepared for the wedding of his best friend to the Old Witch.
On their wedding day the Old Witch put on her worst manners. She ate with
her hands, belched, farted, and made everyone uncomfortable.

That night, Gawain steeled himself for the worst having to make love to such
a creature. As he opened the bedroom door . . .

. . . there was the most beautiful woman in the world! Gawain was astounded
and asked what happened. The beauty replied that since he'd been so kind
to her (when she was a witch) half of the time she'd be her horrible self
and half of the time she'd be the beautiful sexy woman she was then. It was
up to him to choose if she was to be beautiful during the day or during the
night.

What a dilemma. Would he rather show off a beautiful woman during the day
and be repulsed at night or be in the company of a hideous creature in
public but be in the company of an angel for the intimate hours. What to
do.

What would *you* do?
Well, Gawain replied that she should choose for herself. Upon hearing this,
she announced that she would be beautiful all of the time, because he had
respected her and let her be in charge of her own life.

The moral of the story?

It doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly. Smart or dumb.
Underneath it all... she's still a witch.

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A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in
Washington. The bride is concerned, and asks, "What if
the place is still bugged?"
The groom says, "I'll look for a bug." He looks behind
the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. Finally,
he says, "AHA!" Under the rug was a disc with four
screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the
screws, throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the
newlyweds, "How was your room? How was the service?
How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these
questions?"
The hotel manager says, "Well, the couple in the room
UNDER you complained that the chandelier fell on
them."

Bodominjaervi

OC Addicted
Registered: Jul 2002
Location: AT
Posts: 7813
hab den in deutsch gekannt.

:D :D

is genial!

nfin1te

nuttiest knifenut
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Registered: May 2002
Location: Wien
Posts: 7731
:cordless:
:D
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