F*** my life

SergejMolotow

Here to stay

Registered: Jan 2003
Location: Graz
Posts: 942

28.02.2009 - 20:25

http://www.fmylife.com/

also falls jemand glaubt sein leben is beschissen, dann lests euch mal a paar posts von der site durch

ich hab schon tränen gelacht

geschichten die das leben schreibt

Nico

former person of interest

Registered: Sep 2006
Location: -
Posts: 4082

28.02.2009 - 20:28

sind doch unmöglich ernst gemeint, diese beiträge...

grond

---------

Registered: Aug 2004
Location: 8401
Posts: 3193

28.02.2009 - 20:30

sehr geil

mat

Administrator
Legends never die

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: nö
Posts: 25419

28.02.2009 - 20:43

Zitat
Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing.

ica

hmm

Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Graz
Posts: 9818

28.02.2009 - 20:55

sind lustige beiträge dabei ja - aber ich bin mir sicher 50% sind erfunden

aLiEn

one n' only chip shuffler

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: GRAZ
Posts: 1239

01.03.2009 - 11:09

Zitat
Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan.

Zitat
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there.

rettich

Legend
waffle, waffle!

Registered: Jan 2004
Location: wien
Posts: 794

01.03.2009 - 11:41

Zitat
Today i played around with a drinking glass. because of the under-pressure i produced with my mouth, when putting it over my chin, it stuck to my chin and i could not remove it any more. when i posted that on the internet, everyone laughed at me. FML!

der eintrag sollte rasch nachgeholt werden

semteX

begehrt die rostschaufel

Registered: Oct 2002
Location: Pre
Posts: 14573

01.03.2009 - 11:51

statt under-pressure lieber vakuum nehmen, und ab damit

aLiEn

one n' only chip shuffler

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: GRAZ
Posts: 1239

01.03.2009 - 11:54

Zitat
Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity."

KruzFX

8.10.2021

Registered: Aug 2005
Location: ZDR
Posts: 1990

03.03.2009 - 15:45

Zitat
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

BlockBuster

Little Overclocker

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: ...
Posts: 57

04.03.2009 - 14:10

Zitat
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML

Zitat
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with comdoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

Bearbeitet von BlockBuster am 04.03.2009, 14:17

grOOvekill@

Legend
Vienna Badass

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: @home
Posts: 2301

05.03.2009 - 12:37

Zitat von rettich
der eintrag sollte rasch nachgeholt werden

Das war der Dosensteck!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe_the_tulip

Editor
banned by FireGuy

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Wien
Posts: 16437

05.03.2009 - 17:31

Zitat
Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

Master99

verträumter realist

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: vie/grz
Posts: 12670

01.04.2009 - 02:05

ein kleines persönliches best-of der letzten tage

Zitat
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have sex with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

V!Ct0R

Here to stay

Registered: Oct 2003
Location: vorm PC
Posts: 2190

01.04.2009 - 11:24

Zitat
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

:cordless:

SergejMolotow Here to stay Registered: Jan 2003 Location: Graz Posts: 942	28.02.2009 - 20:25 http://www.fmylife.com/ also falls jemand glaubt sein leben is beschissen, dann lests euch mal a paar posts von der site durch ich hab schon tränen gelacht geschichten die das leben schreibt
Nico former person of interest Registered: Sep 2006 Location: - Posts: 4082	28.02.2009 - 20:28 sind doch unmöglich ernst gemeint, diese beiträge...
grond --------- Registered: Aug 2004 Location: 8401 Posts: 3193	28.02.2009 - 20:30 sehr geil
mat Administrator Legends never die Registered: Aug 2003 Location: nö Posts: 25419	28.02.2009 - 20:43 Zitat Today, I sent my mom an email with "Bad news" for the subject. At the end of her reply, she said, "And don't scare me! I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant!" I AM pregnant, and wanted to surprise her on her birthday. Guess I should get her something less disappointing.
ica hmm Registered: Jul 2002 Location: Graz Posts: 9818	28.02.2009 - 20:55 sind lustige beiträge dabei ja - aber ich bin mir sicher 50% sind erfunden
aLiEn one n' only chip shuffler Registered: Apr 2004 Location: GRAZ Posts: 1239	01.03.2009 - 11:09 Zitat Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. Zitat Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there.
rettich Legend waffle, waffle! Registered: Jan 2004 Location: wien Posts: 794	01.03.2009 - 11:41 Zitat Today i played around with a drinking glass. because of the under-pressure i produced with my mouth, when putting it over my chin, it stuck to my chin and i could not remove it any more. when i posted that on the internet, everyone laughed at me. FML! der eintrag sollte rasch nachgeholt werden
semteX begehrt die rostschaufel Registered: Oct 2002 Location: Pre Posts: 14573	01.03.2009 - 11:51 statt under-pressure lieber vakuum nehmen, und ab damit
aLiEn one n' only chip shuffler Registered: Apr 2004 Location: GRAZ Posts: 1239	01.03.2009 - 11:54 Zitat Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity."
KruzFX 8.10.2021 Registered: Aug 2005 Location: ZDR Posts: 1990	03.03.2009 - 15:45 Zitat Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
BlockBuster Little Overclocker Registered: Jul 2005 Location: ... Posts: 57	04.03.2009 - 14:10 Zitat Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML Zitat Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with comdoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML Bearbeitet von BlockBuster am 04.03.2009, 14:17
grOOvekill@ Legend Vienna Badass Registered: Nov 2001 Location: @home Posts: 2301	05.03.2009 - 12:37 Zitat von rettich der eintrag sollte rasch nachgeholt werden Das war der Dosensteck!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe_the_tulip Editor banned by FireGuy Registered: Mar 2003 Location: Wien Posts: 16437	05.03.2009 - 17:31 Zitat Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML
Master99 verträumter realist Registered: Jul 2001 Location: vie/grz Posts: 12670	01.04.2009 - 02:05 ein kleines persönliches best-of der letzten tage Zitat Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have sex with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
V!Ct0R Here to stay Registered: Oct 2003 Location: vorm PC Posts: 2190	01.04.2009 - 11:24 Zitat Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML :cordless:

F*** my life

Forum Index > Real Life > Offtopic

SergejMolotow

Nico

grond

mat

ica

aLiEn

rettich

semteX

aLiEn

KruzFX

BlockBuster

grOOvekill@

Joe_the_tulip

Master99

V!Ct0R